Discovery by Todd Kammerer

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=235 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" background="ed246283.jpg"> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="2" CELLPADDING="10" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="208" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#999980" BORDERCOLORDARK="#666600" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" BGCOLOR=#FFFFFF > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#FFFFFF HEIGHT= 305 ><NOBR><div> <B><IMG SRC="11acaf520.png" border=0 width="175" height="82" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="South Austin Aikido"><B>Home</B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="what_s_new.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Whats New"><B>Whats New</B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="2006_events.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="2006 Events"><B>Events</B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="about_aikido.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="About Aikido"><B>About Aikido</B></A></div> <div> <A HREF="about_our_dojo.htm" TARGET="_top" 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mat.  It was then, and continues to be now, inspirational to watch.</div> <bR> <div> To my surprise, the experience was the exact opposite for me when I first started training.  Aikido was really challenging and completely opposite to anything I had ever done before in my life.  When I had trained in other martial arts, I was taught to counter force with force.  If I was attacked hard, counter attack harder.  During my Aikido training, this only resulted in a collision with uke, rather than blending with uke's energy.  I discovered that I was so stiff.  My first reaction to any attack was to instantly tense my muscles through the movement.  I only seem to bend at the waist, using my lower back, rather than using my legs and bending at the knees.  While performing a technique, I moved as if I was taking my first dance lesson (step 1, 2, 3), incapable to seeing the entire movement in a single, effortless flow.  The key here is single, effortless flow…  The more I focused on getting each step of the technique right, the less I understood the flow of the movement.  I would constantly stop myself to refine step 1, then step 2, and so on, only to make my understanding of the technique that much more illusive.  </div> <bR> <div> It became clear to me that the problem was within myself.  I continued to hold onto old ideas, honestly believing that I was following Sensei's instructions and doing the technique as 'I' interpreted the movement.  I couldn't have been more wrong.  Fortunately for me, I was blessed with many wonderful instructors and sempais, all of which guided me towards the process of discovery.  I slowly learned over time that the key wasn't in the perfection of the technique, but in the connection between nage and uke.  As I opened my mind to the possibilities, accepting every input during instruction, I began to discover how dynamic the connection is between uke and nage.  No two people attack the same, and even the same attack repeated by the same person is different each time in one way or another.  Since no two attacks are ever the same, it no longer made sense to focus on how "uke isn't attacking correctly".  This lead to the acceptance that if a technique didn't work, 'I' needed to discover how I could adjust my movement in order to capture uke's center.  This opened many doors for my understanding of connection and capturing of uke's center.  It was then, and continues to be amazing to me.</div> <bR> <div> Sometime later in my training, I experienced another important discovery.  During a class where Sensei focused on connection, the goal was to relax through the entire movement while allowing yourself to fail.  This was a huge step for me.  It should have been obvious to me before, but up to this point, I always focused on perfecting the technique, not performing the movement and allowing myself to fail.  For me, this moved my focus from "connect here, move there, grab here" to "what do I 'feel' in the connection and how do I adjust to maintain my connection to uke's center?"  The more I focused on connection, the more I could feel uke's center.   Then it occurred to me.  While searching to maintain connection, I had been focusing on where uke and I were physically connected, rather than the connection between our centers.  Sensei always talked about focusing on center, yet I continued to focus on the hand, or the grab, wherever the physical connection took place.  Once I started to truly focus on uke's center, I started to feel uke's center, later realizing that the physical contact point is just the conduit through which nage connects to uke's center.  </div> <bR> <div> As I continue to focus on connection, the more opportunities for discovery continue to present themselves.  One example was during jiyuwaza (any attack, any technique).  It had always been easier for me to perform a specific technique for a specific attack during jiyuwaza.  This was a very comfortable place for me, though sometimes challenging, depending on the speed and energy of uke.  I began to realize that by applying a preconceived idea, nage 'forces' a specific technique to work, regardless if it was the appropriate technique for the connection.  This meant that nage was ignoring what he/she was feeling through the connection, often resulting in the collision between nage and uke.  Not a good outcome.  Later, I discovered that by allowing oneself to fail during jiyuwaza, keeping the mind clear during the attack and allowing the technique to reveal itself, one begins to discover a greater sensitivity of connection to uke's center.  The greater sensitivity, the better the connection between uke and nage, thereby creating the opportunity for the technique to reveal itself, and ultimately a positive outcome.</div> <bR> <div> Of the many wonderful things that I have learned over the past five years, the most interesting discovery continues to be that the more I understand, the more I realize how much more there is to learn.  It is such a strange and yet wonderful dynamic, for there is no real end to our training in Aikido, but rather a life long journey in discovery.  This reinforces the wonderful part of Aikido that I enjoy so very much; the only limit to what one can learn in Aikido is within oneself.  As long as we approach our training with an open mind, being present in the moment and allowing for the possibilities to present themselves, we will continue to expand our understanding of this wonderful martial art, known as Aikido.</div> <bR> <div> Many blessings to all,</div> <div> Todd</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>