Gail's Thoughts
HEY WHERE AM I?
By Gail Lindholm
I don’t pretend to know all the answers. I don’t even know all the questions. Hey where am I?"- Jack Handy, philosopher and character on Saturday Night Live
Here’s an interesting saying by a famous enlightened Zen master: Because your parents were ignorant of their true nature, you were born into ignorance.
Short of hitting you on the side of the head with a stick, we don’t know how to wake you up. Because you are on a journey, but you’re lost. Being lost is a frightening, exhausting, painful experience. And since we’re all on the journey with you, seeing that you’re lost is no less frightening, exhausting and painful for us. How did you get lost? We don’t know and maybe it doesn’t matter how you got here. Maybe you got bad directions, got steered of course, got confused, feel asleep, got distracted or just didn’t pay attention. Still you are here, can’t change that. The question is where do you want to go?
Here’s the problem, none of us knows. We can’t tell you, and if we did, you would end up lost again. Somewhere inside you is a person who already knows. Try to find that person, ask them for a map. Maybe just a map for today, this week, this month, this year. An interim map that seems to lead you in the right direction. You’ll know when you get it because suddenly you will feel a sense of recognition, a sense of relief like "Oh yeah, I remember now. This really feels good right down to the pit of my stomach". You’ll feel like you just ran into a wonderful old friend, somebody who made you feel relaxed, at ease, not anxious, not like you have to be something you’re not. Focus yourself and your attention on that feeling and take a little step. Do something, anything that reinforces that feeling right now without thinking too much. Do something again tomorrow. Practice going back to it when you feel bad. How many different ways can you get back to that feeling? It’s a muscle you can train, how many ways can you work it? It’s a habit, a skill you can learn. What’s it going to take to get that feeling strong and keep it strong? Who’s gonna do it for you?
Don’t worry. Since it’s your map, and not someone else’s, you can change it anytime you like. And it will only feel good if you keep paying attention to the person inside that KNOWS where they want to go. If you get lazy and sell it for some temporary toy or false security, you will find yourself lost and miserable again because you threw away the key to person you came here to be. You might look comfortable on the outside, inside you’ll shrivel up and die. Who was it that you thought needed to be protected? ?That person inside is a superstar, the superstar of your life story, if you pay attention to them you’ll hear them saying "you can do it!". Then you won’t need anybody else to tell you that you can do it. Except maybe for a thumbs up from God or Buddha or whatever you connect with, and who already knows and respects your true nature.
"Apart from the known and the unknown, what else is there?" - Harold Pinter